


The Amazing Adventures of Uncle Jacob and the Novaks

by Silent_So_Long



Category: Stonehenge Apocalypse, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-21
Updated: 2011-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_So_Long/pseuds/Silent_So_Long
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Novaks receive more than they bargained for when Jimmy’s twin brother, Jacob, stays for the week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Amazing Adventures of Uncle Jacob and the Novaks

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2011 NovakFest, for kiasca’s prompt - The amazing adventures of Uncle Jacob and the Novaks xD Claire loves her weird uncle, Jimmy loves his brother but if his little girl ends up like him Jimmy is gonna kill him xD The title for this fic is lifted directly from the prompt itself, as I thought it quite fitting. I really hope you like what I wrote for you, kiasca.

Claire Novak watched the progress of the android as it worked its way across the Novaks’ back yard, lawnmower clattering with mechanical precision as it chopped at the grass. The shining metal plates of the android’s body glinted in the sun, throwing back glittering shades of refracted rainbow light, that the teenaged girl found quite pretty. Even though she knew that it was an android, she still couldn’t get out of the habit of calling it a robot, aided and abetted by many a robot movie and book that she had in her extensive collections. She loved robots and had been very pleased when her parents, Jimmy and Amelia, had finally invested in a household android to look after the menial jobs when both parents were busy.

Most people in the neighbourhood of Pontiac, Illinois had one, shining bodies stationed as though each family was trying to out-do the other. Although the Novak family’s own android was one of the mid-range models, and absolutely nothing like the flash and glitz of the Taylors’ android down the street, who could afford the grandest of models, Claire still loved their robot anyway. She had been brought up better than that to be entranced by the glitz and glamour of too much money.

She stood, hearing a knock at the door, and managed to get to the wooden barrier before her father did. Jimmy waited, while Claire flung the door open, just before the person on the other side had enough time to knock again

“Uncle Jacob!” Claire squealed happily, as she flung herself bodily into the arms of Jacob Glaser.

“Hello, Claire,” Jacob said, with a fond smile down at the top of Claire’s fair haired head. “I don’t think I need to ask if you’re okay. Hey, Jim.”

Jacob glanced up into the face of Jimmy, his twin brother. Jacob, unlike Jimmy, had chosen to take their mother’s maiden name, rather than the true family name of Novak. Both men were dark haired, blue eyed and strikingly handsome, yet there were some differences between them if one cared to look.

While Jimmy was mostly smartly dressed, and had the ability to make even a simple jeans and t shirt outfit look smartly presentable, Jacob had the propensity to wear lots of layers. His favourite ensemble seemed to be a burgundy t shirt, overlaid by a navy blue shirt, coupled with heavy jeans and even heavier boots. While Jimmy was always closely shaved, Jacob was never seen without a couple of days worth of stubble gracing his cheeks and chin. Even their voices were markedly different; Jacob’s was gruff and commanding, while Jimmy’s was lighter and somehow friendlier.

Despite all of this, the brothers were like two peas in a pod, and Jacob, quite often, was welcomed to stay at the Novak household every once in a while, to visit. A gas leak in his own neighbourhood had prompted his current visit with the Novaks, having no other family willing to accommodate him.

 

“Hello, Jacob, how’s things?” Jimmy asked, as Claire finally allowed Jacob inside

“Okay, I guess. Still getting trouble with my peers, as per usual,” Jacob said, with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

While Jimmy was an ad-time salesman for the local radio, Jacob himself actually worked on his own, independently run radio station. Once an eminent scientist, Jacob was much derided amongst his peers as being something of a whack-job. None of them ever let it be forgotten that Jacob had made claims there was a robot head on the moon, when everyone else thought there were aliens residing on Earth’s sole satellite. Despite the fact that Jacob had irrefutable evidence in the form of photographs of said robot head on his basement bound cork-board, no one ever took him seriously. Jimmy, however, tried to pull a sympathetic expression, despite the fact that Jacob’s ongoing concerns were just that - ongoing.

“They’ll come around eventually, Jacob,” he said, as he clapped his brother on the shoulder, before helping Jacob to drag his luggage into the hallway.

“Will they? Sometimes I doubt that,” Jacob replied, with a sigh.

Claire giggled and raced ahead, while Jimmy installed Jacob in the spare guest room upstairs. Once they’d plopped all of Jacob’s luggage inside the room, Claire, obviously fond of her uncle, insisted upon showing him her latest collection of Star Trek figurines. Jimmy, much amused, left them to it, shaking his head over Jacob’s embarrassing fits of fan-boy glee over a new Bones McCoy t shirt Claire had made.

When Jacob finally was allowed to leave by a still grinning Claire, he toiled downstairs to the kitchen, Claire in close pursuit. Jimmy and Amelia were already in there. Amelia was beating what looked like a bowl-full of potential corn-bread into shape. She looked up when she heard the sound of feet in the doorway and smiled at the new arrival.

“Hey, Jacob, Jimmy told me you were here. I didn’t hear you arrive, earlier,” she said, to Jacob.

“The traffic wasn’t as bad as I thought, so I arrived early,” Jacob replied, before his attention was diverted by the glinting form of the android outside, still cutting the grass. “What in God’s name is that thing, outside?”

“What‘s what thing, outside?” Jimmy asked, confused.

“That thing. Is this a joke?” Jacob asked, as he pointed at the android, incensed rage upon his face.

“No, Uncle Jacob, that’s our robot. He helps us around the house,” Claire replied, sounding just as confused as both Jimmy and Amelia looked right then.

“He helps you round the house,” Jacob repeated, glibly, just as Amelia corrected her daughter.

“It’s not a robot, Claire, it’s an android,” she said, as she plopped the contents of her mixing bowl into a nearby baking tray. “And no, it’s not a joke, Jacob. He really does help us around the house. Most of the families in the neighbourhood have one.”

Jacob harrumphed and glared out of the window at the android still striding up and down the garden mechanically. He took in the bland, expressionless metallic face, the stiff way of walking and the way its head looked suspiciously like the head in his photograph, forever pinned to his basement-bound cork-board. As Amelia had already implied by her statement, he saw the uniform figures of various androids in the neighbourhood, all going about their prescribed tasks - some washing cars, some walking dogs, some even hanging out wet, freshly washed laundry.

Despite Amelia’s insistence that they were androids, Jacob thought that Claire had gotten it right when she’d proclaimed the Novaks’ android to be a robot. To Jacob, as it had to Claire, the metallic beings certainly looked like robots, albeit domesticated ones. It was almost too much for Jacob, whose life seemed to be dogged by damned robots, both in his professional life and now in his personal. Everywhere he turned, were robots, or so it seemed to Jacob himself.

“You alright, Uncle Jacob?” piped Claire, peering up into Jacob’s staring face with curious green eyes.

“Yeah,” was all Jacob could say to that.

~*~*~*~

That evening was awkward for Jacob. Attempting to eat while a great silver robot peered over one’s shoulder was extremely off-putting, Jacob was to find out. He was loathe to dignify the thing by calling it an android as Amelia insisted it was. To Jacob, an android’s appearance was more like that of Data from Star Trek The Next Generation, not the Metal Mickey that dominated the corner.

His corn-bread, undoubtedly tasty, seemed too dry that night in his mouth, clogging his throat and sitting heavily in his stomach. He threw occasional glances at the robot in the corner, but remained silent on the subject. Instead, he tried to make light of the situation, by answering all the questions that Claire threw his way and even some that Amelia politely asked. Jimmy remained quiet for most of the evening, seemingly content to remain so in the presence of his surrounding family. Despite the chatter and somewhat frivolity of the scene, the tension in the room was almost palpable, emanating mostly from Jacob and leaching, by degrees, to the rest of the Novak family.

Finally, Jacob was glad to note that meal-time was over and after the pre-requisite couple of hours in front of a family movie, he escaped to his own bed for the night at last. He was glad for the sanctuary of a private space, free from the prying eye-stalks of robots. Little did he know how quickly that would all change.

~*~*~*~

Jimmy woke to a storm liberally dashing itself against the window of his bedroom, rain clattering and wind shattering against the side of the Novak household. Thunder rolled overhead, as lightning streaked across the sky in garish filigree bursts. He turned over and saw that Amelia was, as yet, undisturbed by the ferocity of the elements outside, sleeping on in dreamless state beside the now wakeful Jimmy. He sighed, breath riffling through the fine hair on the nape of Amelia’s neck, before a scream ripped through the Novak household, from the guest bedroom, where Jacob was situated.

Without a thought, Jimmy bolted from his bed, heading for the guest room at a run, while Amelia finally stirred sleepily in the bed left behind. Claire was emerging from her bedroom as Jimmy exploded onto the landing, wild eyed and hair askew.

“Go back in your room, Claire,” Jimmy ordered on his way past.

“But, Daddy .. Uncle Jacob’s yelling,” Claire protested, through a yawn.

“Never mind Jacob, honey. I’m seeing to him. Go back to bed,” Jimmy said, as he placed one hand upon the door to the guest room.

Jacob was still yelling inside the room, and it sounded as though the man was also hitting something.

“Do as your father says, Claire,” Amelia said, sleepily from the bedroom door, just as Jimmy let himself into Jacob’s room, firmly shutting the door behind him.

Jacob was up and out of bed, slender body ram-rod straight as he pounded at the head of the Novak family’s android with a golf club. Every time the club hit the android’s head, it connected with a loud, metallic clang, sounding somewhat like a sonorous bell than something made out of metal and circuitry. Jimmy caught the club in mid-air, just before it described another arc towards the android’s head.

“What the hell are you doing to my robot, Jacob?” Jimmy asked, staring at his brother, in astonishment.

“It was in my room, dammit. It was standing right there, watching me sleep,” Jacob protested, staring at Jimmy and pointing at the android, which had, as yet, to make any move at all. “Why was that monstrosity in my room, Jim?”

“Perhaps it was curious at the new arrival,” Jimmy replied, calmly. “Even androids have such things as curiosity, you know. Besides, I don’t think he’s seen someone else who bears such a close resemblance to me, before.”

“Well, I don’t like it. Take it away. Put in the closet or something,” Jacob replied, sounding as though he didn’t quite believe Jimmy’s hypothesis.

“I can’t put him in the closet. I’ll lock him in the kitchen,” Jimmy offered, with an expansive sigh.

“Fine, do that. Just get it away from me,” Jacob growled, a scowl overshadowing his dark blue eyes.

Jimmy harrumphed, and led the android out by the hand, to follow up on his promise to his brother by locking the android in the kitchen. Claire peeked out from her bedroom as her father passed, but otherwise didn’t say or do anything else. Amelia was already in bed by the time that Jimmy returned, sleepy blue eyes turned to face her husband as he re-entered the room.

“Jacob alright?” she asked, sounding just as sleepy as she looked right then.

“I guess. He just freaked out because the robot was staring at him while he slept,” Jimmy groused, as he slid into bed beside Amelia.

“The android was doing that? No wonder he freaked,” Amelia huffed, in amusement. “Even though I’m used to that thing, I wouldn’t want him staring at me while I was in bed. Too creepy.”

“Yeah, I guess. I just hope he doesn’t try attacking that robot again, though,” Jimmy said, darkly. “Did you know he was hitting it with a golf club?”

“Jacob was?” Amelia asked, outright laughing now. “I’m sorry, but that is a little bit funny. Your brother’s weird.”

“I know. And if Claire ever turns out anything like him, I’ll kill him,” Jimmy replied, darkly.

“You won’t do that, Jimmy,” Amelia replied, confidently.

The only response before she slipped back into sleep was a disgruntled harrumph from Jimmy himself.

~*~*~*~

Over the course of the following three days, and several trips to local restaurants, the beach, even with Jimmy to the local radio station, Jacob made several attempts on what passed for the android’s life. He attacked it with forks, knives, a baseball bat, Amelia’s rolling pin, Jimmy’s best carving knife, the garden hose, a monkey wrench, a crowbar, even the handles of Claire’s skipping rope, much to Jimmy’s growing horror and Amelia’s confused consternation. Claire, however, seemed the only one who was having a good time, exploding into irrepressible laughter ever time she saw her uncle wielding some new weapon against the android. Such attacks were, however, all to no avail. The android still seemed to follow him around, with a certain degree of undisguised interest..

“I don’t understand. I don’t know why it won’t leave me alone,” Jacob said, finally sitting outside the Novak house dejectedly near the end of his week-long stay.

“Have you tried asking him? The android, I mean,” Amelia asked, as she leant on the doorframe behind the dejected man.

“Asking him? What do you mean asking him? You mean the thing can talk?” Jacob asked, in undisguised horror.

“Of course. All of the latest models can,” Amelia replied, as though it made perfect sense, and perhaps it did to her, being a proud owner of a mid-range android.

“Huh,” was all Jacob said, by way of response.

~*~*~*~

Later that afternoon, and Jacob accosted the android, staring into its shining photo-cellular eyes as he enunciated the question clearly, and slowly for the android’s benefit.

“Why do you keep following me around?” Jacob asked.

“I am a big fan of yours, Mr Glaser. I listen to your radio show all the time,” the android replied, much like a human would.

“Yeah? What are you, some kind of android stalker or something?” Jacob asked, surprised that Amelia was right and the thing could actually talk and quite beautifully too, if one enjoyed a Georgia accent.

“No. I am merely appreciative of your work and I wished to tell you that I believed you when said there was a robot head on the moon. You see, that was my brother’s head you saw,” the android said, calmly. “It wasn’t my fault that every time you saw me, you took it upon yourself to attack me.”

Jacob blinked at that, further surprised that such a thing as a robot could even have a brother. Considering the odd things that had happened to him, recently, a robot family seemed the least of his worries.

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know about your brother, and I didn‘t know you were a fan, either,” Jacob replied, somewhat guiltily. “Well, I don’t know what to say now. D’you want me sign an autograph, perhaps? You said you were a fan of mine.”

“That would be acceptable. Can you please stop attacking me now?” the android asked.

“Yeah, we’re cool now, now that I know what’s going on,” Jacob replied. “I’ll sign an autograph later on. I’m all out of paper, right now.”

The android nodded happily, content to wait until Jacob was suitably equipped with paper and pen before he accosted him for an autograph again.

~*~*~*~

Jacob signed an autograph for the android, whose name just happened to be Daryl, much to Jacob’s amusement. Jacob lost his smile when he found out that the robot head on the moon, which happened to belong to Daryl's brother, was also called Daryl. He began to wonder if all robots were called Daryl even as he declined to attack the robot (nay, android) without due provocation, ensuring the Novak family a happy end of the week.

By Friday, Jacob was ready to return home, having gotten word that the gas leak in his own neighbourhood had been fixed and that it was safe for him to return. Despite the fact that they’d enjoyed having Jacob within their lives for the week, Jimmy and Amelia both heaved sighs of relief at not having to repel ninja like attacks against their property, namely their android.

They waited downstairs while Jacob packed, chatting amiably amongst themselves until their guest plodded downstairs, luggage in tow, wearing his usual layered clothing ensemble and a smile. Jimmy walked his brother, to the doorway, and helped to lift the other man’s luggage into his trunk. Finally, Jacob was ready to leave and was firmly behind the wheel of his little, beaten-up car, engine purring. Claire, Amelia, Jimmy and Daryl stood in the doorway, watching as Jacob finally drove away.

“Well, wasn’t that fun?” Amelia asked dryly, with a smirk at Daryl.

Daryl, the ever stoic android, kept his mostly usual silence, while Jimmy turned to Claire.

“If I catch you acting anything like your uncle, young lady, I’m gonna kill him,” he said, only half meaning it.

~~ the end ~~


End file.
